HOW TO BECOME THE COLLEGE GENIUS OVERNIGHT by Nathaniel Delit

I’ll be honest and say I wasn’t always a college genius. But I became one with the help of the following tips. My transcript since is what matters, not my pre-genius transcript, which my fraternity brothers have obnoxiously put on show in the dining hall. With these tips, the only place your transcript is going is the hall of fame.

  1. Highlighting:
  • Two words: Absolutely. Phenomenal. This simple technique can be performed using an inexpensive tool known as a “highlighter”. The long and short of it is that it is a coloured pen which you’ll use to literally colour the most important words and sentences you read so that they forever are burned in your memory. I can’t overemphasise how much I use this study technique. I’ll often find myself finishing a page of a textbook, to look up and find that the whole darn page has been “highlighted”. Superb. The chance that I ever forget what has been “highlighted” is close to zero.

2. Quizzing:

  • This is another simple technique that will also help you make college friends- a vital part of college life. Here, instead of colouring over words, you will simply ask your college colleagues to help test your knowledge. Here’s the deal: Simply walk around campus with your enormous textbook, head to where your college colleagues hang out, head up to the nearest one, hand them your very heavy textbook and just flat-out ask them to quiz you regarding any of the highlighted material contained therein. Rinse and repeat. Amazing.

3. Testing:

  • Ask your professor to come up with a practice exam specifically for you. The professor will love that you have a passion for past exams.

4. Mnemonics:

  • Saving the best for last, this is a goody. It is best explained by way of a simple yet effective example. Say I want to remember that 8 multiplied by 9 is equal to 72. Instead of trying to rote learn the answer like a non-college genius, I will create a vivid image of nine (9) servings of what I ATE (8) for breakfast and at the same time, conjure up an image of 72 (72) naked, big-breasted, beautiful virgins at my breakfast table, battling it out for the 8 remaining servings of whatever I had for breakfast. There are only 8 servings remaining because I would have already eaten the first by then. You might need to produce a second mnemonic to remember this part, but I can’t teach you everything. Not the greatest example, but you get the picture. It is literally that simple. And, I will do this all in the comfort of my own mind (or brain, whatever you prefer), so I don’t have to write this down. I am amazed at this technique almost every time.

With these tips, your GPA will skyrocket and become genius-like. It will impress those that know you are the college genius, and those that don’t.


Nathaniel is Cape Town (South Africa) born and based, having just completed his undergraduate and postgraduate degrees, in order to start his training necessary to qualify as a Chartered Accountant while also trying to be a little bit funny, on the side, a little bit.
His parents tell him that when he was young, he used to “pretend” to be an accountant to their friends, giving them stock tips (like “go for gold!”)  and money advice. That little bit was a great hit and it stuck ever since.